Written for LJ Idol's Open Topic

[adore]

Open

adjective
or command

banging on the door
my knees pushed apart
hands groping the gaps in my ribs

hands over my head
flinching at future blows
I curl like a fetus

my arms wrap around me
I want to hold myself close
I'm cold at the thought

of the desolation
of land, sky and sea
laying themselves bare for me.

emotions naked on my face
heart uncaged by ribs
prisons are protective but I
am out in the open
free as prey

if anything happens to me they'll wonder why I was out there
surrendering
to the terrifying expanse of the horizon

to the small-mindedness of home
I never answered the door
I opened it when I left
the trees are rooted in place but straining
towards a gaping and ravenous sky

Comments

[humanbeansradio]

Free as prey... that's going to stick with me... damn. Solid.

[gardeningatnight]

The contrast of not answering the door, but opening it when you left was nice.

[adpazd]

Wow. This was so evocative. Very well written.

[jajalala]

This is pretty, thank you for sharing!

[adoptedwriter]

“ emotions naked on my face
heart uncaged by ribs
prisons are protective but I
am out in the open
free as prey”. This whole section. Wow! Yes!

[simplyn2deep]

This felt so raw and vulnerable. I really liked the way “open” keeps shifting in meaning, from a command that feels threatening to emotional exposure to, finally, an action the speaker chooses for themselves. There’s such a difference between having something forced open and deciding to open the door yourself, and that transformation gave the poem a really strong arc.

The ending especially stayed with me. The speaker never answers the door, but they *do* open it when they’re ready to leave. And I loved the final image of the trees: rooted in one place, yet still reaching toward this enormous, hungry sky. There’s fear in stepping out into that openness, but also freedom—and I like that the poem doesn’t pretend those two things can’t exist at the same time.

[bleodswean]

I really resonate with your response to this prompt, and this is a very bold poem that feels like freedom!

[drippedonpaper]

One has to take the risk to grow. We cannot learn without the journey.

Very thought-provoking!

[haunted_cherries]

Being able to exist in the same universe as your writing has me GIDDY. A lovely, thought-provoking poem!! ❤️❤️

[bsgsix]

I really like the contrasts here (small at home, the world being large; the opening yet unanswered door). Your last few words are evocative as well: "Towards a gaping and ravenous sky" is so, so lovely and ominous, all at once.

This is bold, painful, and naked. Thank you for sharing something this personal; it works very well! <3

[blackcatofmisery]

The ending is hopeful for the future yet still cynical. It's definitely not idealist. There are contrasts that don't allow you immediate relief and healing, but there is still a chance. I like the the being the for that.

=^..^=~

[muchtooarrogant]

You packed quite a lot into a small number of words.

I enjoyed:
surrendering
to the terrifying expanse of the horizon

to the small-mindedness of home

Well done.

Dan

[d3bansen]

This is so beautiful, I love the part reaching the end

prisons are protective but I
am out in the open
free as prey

if anything happens to me they'll wonder why I was out there
surrendering
to the terrifying expanse of the horizon

Wonderfully written <3

[xyla]

I absolutely love this and the line *Free as prey.* is gonna live in my head rent free too.

[halfshellvenus]

I never answered the door
I opened it when I left
I liked these lines and the idea behind them.

I could almost read this as an experience of agoraphobia, where the outside is too much for any number of reasons. That feeling of being exposed in the open fits that.

[ofearthandstars]

the trees are rooted in place but straining
towards a gaping and ravenous sky

I am left with these lines, wondering about being both bound to a place or a past but also climbing up and out of it. (This is lovely.) ♥

[goldmourn]

it's fantastic to see a poem!

"if anything happens to me they'll wonder why I was out there
surrendering
to the terrifying expanse of the horizon"

beautiful.

[poppetawoppet]

I love this a whole lot

[legalpad819]

Beautifully done.

[purplepetrichor]

I love seeing poetry submitted.

I never answered the door
I opened it when I left

Love the contrast there. Great job!

[scribblesinblue]

"adjective or command" - that's brilliant! Accurate and succinct.

And also the contrast between how big and overwhelming the outside world is and how small and confining (and infantilizing too maybe?) home can be.

[murielle]

"free as prey"
Wow! Yes!
This!
❤

[onda_bianca]

"Free as prey" is a WHOLE LINE. Wow.

[eeyore_grrl]

Always happy to see poetry!

"to the terrifying expanse of the horizon". Legit

[lapis_lazuli615]

Not sure quite HOW this makes me feel, but it definitely makes me feel SOME way.

[kandigurl]

Gorgeous imagery, loved reading this!

[alycewilson]

I like how vividly you capture the feeling of being exposed and vulnerable: whether it's being open about emotions or whether it's being outside in a dangerous location.